Honest Post – Why I’m Sick Of The Gender Debate

August 16, 2017

First off this isn’t a post meant to cause any offence it is purely just my thoughts on the current gender debate. Obviously I’m all for equality but the current issue regarding children’s gender specific clothing and toys is really starting to piss me off. Quite frankly I think it’s getting out of hand and people are taking offence over everything.

As soon as I found out I was having a girl I went pink crazy, I bought all the cute girly clothes and generally only bought toys if they came in pink. I look forward to the days we can play with barbies and watch all the princess movies together snuggled under pink sparkly blankets. Basically I’m reliving my childhood through my daughter and I love it, bring on the glitter!

gender debate

Having had a boy, who I bought gender specific toys for too, may I add, I was excited at the prospect at getting to indulge in all things girly. Yet now the world is telling me that I shouldn’t be giving my girls ‘girly’ toys to play with or even dress them as girls, and if I do, then I don’t believe in gender equality or my children’s freedom of choice.

Erm, nope

let’s get something straight. I absolutely believe in gender equality and if my boy wants to wear a dress or my girls want play with diggers, so be it. I wouldn’t class myself as a ‘girly girl’ and will happily let my children play with whatever toy they want or dress however they want, I would never stand in their way or tell them something is wrong because of gender. But I will always bring them up as the gender they were born until they can tell me otherwise.

Every time I see a complaint at a piece of clothing or pair of shoes because they are aimed at certain genders or because of their title, I get a little bit more annoyed at how much the gender debate is taking over. At the end of the day you are the one buying said items, if you don’t like the offending item don’t buy it! Don’t complain to get the item removed, what about all of us that don’t give a crap what a pair of shoes are called? If your girl doesn’t like princesses and wearing pink then there are plenty of other options out there these days without having to complain to get items removed from sale, the same goes for boys. If more people bought their kids up to respect others choices, nobody would bat an eyelid at what people wore. Society is a hell of a lot more accepting these days, there’s no need to take things to the extreme. Shops have come a long way in recent years recognising that girls like dinosaurs too etc but there are many little girls that love ballerinas and unicorns, I worry soon these types of clothing won’t exist and we will all be wearing uniforms so as no to offend anyone!

Obviously there are some slogans or assumptions made on gender that cross the line, but again it’s your choice on whether you buy those items. Recently I bought my daughter a t-shirt that says ‘girls are the future’ does that mean that I think boys aren’t? No, I bought the t-shirt because I think it’s cute, plus my girl literally is the future for gods sake, it’s not some subliminal message that boys are worth less than girls.

So this post it to all the parents that want to buy pink sparkly things for their girls or tools and diggers for their boys, and not be judged for it!

Your child your choice (until it becomes theirs obviously) everyone parents differently so let’s stop shoving our opinions down people’s necks please. As long as we are not forcing our own opinions or suppressing their freedom of choice then it’s nobody else’s business how we bring up our own children.

Bore off gender debate, let us parent our way!


18 responses to “Honest Post – Why I’m Sick Of The Gender Debate”

  1. Kim says:

    You make a valid point. It is absolutely your right to raise your children in any way you see fit.

    There needs to be more choice available and personally I would like to see clothing departments where there are no boys or girls subsections.
    It’s easy to say that if girls don’t like the girls clothes on offer then they should choose boys clothes instead and vice versa. However, as children get older it gets more difficult for them to not conform.
    Speaking from experience, I was bullied from an early age for having what were perceived as boys interests and choosing a pair of shoes from the boys section for my first year in secondary school.

    There is also the issue of whether the lack of choice, and obvious difference in products and clothing aimed at both genders, conditions our children into ‘liking’ what society expects them to. I have no problem with people or children liking things associated with traditional gender stereotypes (pink is my favourite colour and I’m like a magpie when it comes to anything sparkly) as long as it is a free choice and not what society thinks that they should like.

    This is my opinion only and I mean no offence. I’m just interested in an open discussion.

    • amymighalls says:

      No offence taken, I totally get your point. You wouldn’t realise it from the post but I grew up playing with cars, watching football and helping my dad do DIY but I also played with dolls and ‘girly things’
      Thankfully society has come a long way with regards to gender stereotypes and of course there is always room for improvement especially where clothing is concerned for older children.
      My only concern is that it will go the other way and there will be no gender specific clothing or toys at all!
      It’s great that people are questioning and challenging gender stereotypes personally I just feel that sometimes it goes too far and people’s choices are being attacked because they do want to conform to gender stereotypes.
      My friend got verbally attacked recently over her opinion of a t-shirt, simply for saying that she didn’t find it offensive x

  2. Kim Carberry says:

    I have seen a lot of the gender debate thing going on and I am pretty shocked by it….
    When my girls were little it was always pink for girls and blue for boys…..If my girl wanted something blue or aimed at boys I would buy it. I was never offended. Now it seems that people look for things to be offended by. My fella said a few weeks ago they should just make everything gender neutral then there would be nothing to complain about….But there would be people would still find something to complain about. That is the way of people now a days….We are in an age of complainers!
    I follow someone on YouTube who did a video called something something “gender reveal” of the baby she is expecting and she got hate for it because “Gender” is such a touchy thing at the moment….People are going way over the top about the whole gender thing.

    • amymighalls says:

      I follow Louise too, I think it’s ridiculous the amount of hate she got, I really think people are taking things too far!

  3. Gender is a touchy subject – I read a quote that I thought summed up what I was thinking perfectly “I don’t want gender neutrality I want all aspects of my kids personalities catered for” be that pink sparkles or dinosaurs. Some of the things my boys love are stereotypical “boy” toys and clothes. Some of them are the perceived “girl” things cooking, babies, princesses. They are the little things that make up them and as a parent it’s my job to support them in their choices. I don’t understand why people are complaining to remove choices for others.

  4. I’m one of those people that wasn’t happy with Clarks naming their shoes “Dolly Babes”. It’s just a stupid name and it doesn’t even doesn’t make sense. It also isn’t sending the right message to our girls, and it has been proven that the language we use with our children is incredibly important for how they progress in life. The labels you see on boys t-shirts – naughty little boy and girls – cute princess does actually have an impact on how they and society see the different genders. It’s about the different expectations that arise as a result. I think the issue is when parents have a girl who might want to play with cars and she is told no that is for boys. Why is it for boys? My youngest girl was told by the shop assistant she couldn’t have a pair of blue shoes with planes on because they are for boys. If she wants to wear blue shoes with planes then she can regardless of gender. On the other hand she loves pink and wearing princess dresses as well as playing with her cars. I don’t try and shoehorn her one way or the other and I think it is about keeping an open mind, and big brands and shops also need to be keeping an open mind. You have the right attitude, we should’t be shoving our opinions or forcing our ideals onto other people. 🙂

  5. I like having girly things for my daughter too – she has two older brothers & it’s fun to get dresses. She’s 4 now so she helps pick out what she wants to wear. I do see the point about gender neutral & can understand that would be important in many cases. For me, I think gender neutral toys would be good. My oldest loves art. When we go to look at the art section of the toy store, everything is pink. So in his mind, art is for girls, not boys. For those types of toys I think they should be neutral to encourage any child to enjoy them, rather than making it out that certain things are for certain genders. Same goes of course for stereotypical boys items that a girl would like to play with. Great post lovely – it’s good to stir things up sometimes lol xx

  6. rachel says:

    I agree with you. I have two girls. My eldest i brought up dressing her in dresses, sparkles and all things girly but when she started deciding what she wanted to wear she wanted jeans and trainers. She is more of a tom boy but hey she’s happy!
    My youngest is 6 and wowzer is she a girly girl. I love buying her the girly things she has chosen and she loves wearing them, she does however love a teddy bear with a blue scarf.My hubby asked Miss M if she wanted to change the scarf to a pink one and she said no. Let our kids decide what they want i say and just go with it 🙂

  7. To be honest, I see your points. It can go too far at times but then you have campaigns like the Clarks shoes with the Leaders shoes for boys and the Doll Babes or whatever they were called for girls and you just have to do a mahoosive face palm!

    • amymighalls says:

      The names of certain items definitely cross the line and make you wander what on earth prompted someone to think it’s appropriate these days!

  8. Kira says:

    I totally agree with you on this Hun. I think it’s getting a little bit over the top x

  9. I’m somewhere in the middle on this debate. I have two girls an we have plenty of dolls and pink but I don’t think that everything should be blue for boys, pink for girls. I get annoyed when shops sell something in blue or pink only. What about all the other colours? I don’t see why girls shoes should be called dolly babe and boys leader. I do think these slogans can have an impact on older children.

    • amymighalls says:

      I can definitely see both sides, and the labels on things are certainly questionable at times! My only worry was that if it goes to far, the option to buy something in pink or blue will be removed.

  10. I don’t think I’ve pushed certain toys towards my son, but watching that video on facebook the other day it did make me question if I’ve done it subconsciously. He’s definitely more drawn to things like diggers and problem solving toys, although he’s also a big fan of his kitchen, cleaning set, and tea party set. I think it’s definitely becoming less of an issue these days, and I do think we need to accept that girls and boys might naturally be drawn to different things, but I think it’s important to question what we might unconsciously be instilling in our children and to give them the chance to carve their own path in life, wherever that might take them.

  11. The way I have parented my girls is out of natural habit and in a world that I grew up in. Which was very much pink for girls and blue for boys. It’s only been in more recent years where it’s all gender neutral and being PC. My eldest daughter is all about the pink and very girly. My youngest loves cars, diggers, paw patrol, princesses and babies. She is just a real mixture of what would be considered for a boy or a girl. I have raised them the same. There were no cars or diggers in our house until she asked for them. It was who she is and her personality that lead to it.

  12. Laura Dove says:

    I completely agree with this, I think sometimes people are just so far up on their moral highground that they will take offence at just about anything. My girls love pink, they also love blue and a hundred other different combination of colours, I couldn’t care less which toys they chose to play with or colour clothes they chose to wear, live and let live!!

  13. I have two boys, when Monkey was little I made sure he had a dolly, a kitchen, a pushchair for the dolly etc. Now he’s five he tends to be drawn to boys toys, but ultimately he will play what ever his friends want to, be they boys or girls. I agree with what you are saying completely if he decided he wanted to dress up in a princess dress I wouldn’t stop him x

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