Parenting

Mothers Day Without A Mother

As Mother’s Day approaches each year, the sadness,the bitterness,the loneliness  I feel really kicks up a notch and I can’t help but feel resentful every time I see mothers and daughters out together for the day, I’m sad that those days were taken away from me.

This may sound like I’ve lost my mom and I have, my Mom is not dead though, she just chose not to be in my life, my 16th birthday was the last time I spoke to her, the day my life changed forever and she kicked me out on the streets and told me she didn’t want to see me again, at the time I was glad, scared of what my future would hold but I was happy to be free from her. For years me and my dad suffered both mental and physical abuse from her, she is a truly horrible person and I will never understand why she treated us so badly. She has seen us in passing and doesn’t even give us a second glance, not a care in the world for her daughter or grandchildren.

It doesn’t really bother me that she’s not in our lives, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve been robbed of something special. That mother/daughter bond that I see so many of you have. My mother was not there to help choose my wedding dress, watch me get married or be there when I gave birth, I don’t get to organise spa days or afternoon teas, book girly shopping trips, pick out the perfect gift for Mother’s Day or simply just ring her for advice. I do buy things for my lovely mother-in-law  but it’s just not the same, she’s not my mother, she’s someone else’s.

I would never treat my children the way I was treated, I just don’t know how anyone could. They will always know how much I love them and I look forward to the mothers days when they can take me out and I can finally have that mother/daughter bond with my daughter that I never had chance to have.

I’m sorry if this is a tough read for anyone, the real story is a hell of a lot worse and I’m not sure I will ever be able to share it but I just wanted to get a bit off my chest and explain why my mother is never spoke about.

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Thanks for reading

Love Amy xx

2 thoughts on “Mothers Day Without A Mother

  1. Awwww Amy this just brought a tear to my eye. So brave of you to write this. It sounds like you are better off without her. No one needs people like that in their lives xx

    Like

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