Parenting

The things I said I’d never do as a parent..

We all do this don’t we, sit down and talk about our future as parents, the things we will and won’t do once we have children….and then you have children and that all goes tits up! If you are in the discussing your future parenting phase you may want to look away now and enjoy that blissful bullshit a while longer. Here’s some of the things  silly naive me said once pre kids…

Our children will not spend their time watching TV and playing video games

Ha! What a load of rubbish, when you have a 12-year-old boy, getting them up and off the Xbox is no easy task. As for Ava she’s not remotely fussed about watching TV, some days I really wish she would though!

They will only eat home cooked healthy food

Bullshit! Unless you yourself are fully committed to eating like that, don’t kid yourself into thinking your child will eat like that. I enjoy cooking so a lot of our meals are home cooked and quite a few are home cooked by Mr Birdseye too. Don’t beat yourself up about it, as long as they aren’t having Maccies for breakfast, KFC for lunch and a cheeky Chinese for dinner, you are doing absolutely fine!

I will never shout or lose my shit at them

I’m sure there are a lot of people that don’t lose their shit daily, I unfortunately am not one of those people, Im not the sort of person that gets down to their eye level and rationally discusses why they are acting like total dicks, I tell it to them straight. I would like to be a little calmer and I’m working on it but it’s not going to happen overnight.

I won’t give my child my phone/iPad/crisps/chocolate as bribery 

Yeah you will, don’t kid yourself. When you child is having the mother of all meltdowns you will give them ANYTHING in an attempt to calm them down. And some days you will do it just to give yourself 5 minutes peace and quiet.

And lastly and probably the biggest lie we told ourselves

Our lives will not be dictated by our mini person

Hahaha! The phrase ‘Toddler boss’ isn’t around for no reason . Experts like to call it Baby Led, a fancy way of saying you let your child do whatever the hell they like because ultimately you have no control over them anyway. Obviously you will try your best to control the situation, inevitably though you will come to realise that they own you now. Say goodbye to sleeping/eating/peeing when you like, you no longer make that decision.

I also said I’d never have another child, that is also a massive lie, give me all the babies!

Thank you for reading

Love Amy xx

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