You know you’re a parent when….

December 15, 2016

You know you’re a parent when…..

  • You and your partner drop quotes from Peppa Pig into everyday conversation. Please tell me we aren’t the only ones that shout ‘MOOOO! LETS DIG UP THE ROAD!!’ to each other for no reason at all….just us???shit.


  • You have debates about that bloody pink pig or Ben and Holly. Why does Miss rabbit have so many jobs, I hope she’s declaring them all? Why is Peppa such a little shit? Why do the elves have to announce are elves all the time, umm hello we can see that, shove your horn back in! Why can’t all ladybirds be like Gaston?


  • And let’s not forget all those time you’ve been sat still watching kids TV AFTER they have gone to bed, or how sometimes you refer to each other as mommy pig and daddy pig…. that just us too? Double shit.


  • You have a whole host of random baby related things shoved in your pocket,bag,car. I took 3 separate socks out of my pocket the other day, why are they there? and where the hell are their matching pairs? There’s been a sock rolling round andy’s car for about a week now, it doesn’t match any of the pocket socks so it can stay there a bit longer. And my bag resembles a food graveyard, full of half eaten bags of bribery, I mean snacks…


  • Your google search history is alarming. We have all been there, 3 am, googling is my child normal? Why won’t they sleep? Why is my baby going bald? Is green poo normal? How to sell my child on EBay… maybe not that one but I bet you’ve all considered at some point. Step away from google ladies and gents, it’s a bad bad place.


  • You celebrate the most ridiculous things your child does like they’ve won an oscar, oh my god she just picked up a pea! Quick get a photo! I need to tell Instagram about my amazing baby! (I’ve done that post) Oh you’re soooo clever! Like no one else in the world can pick up a flipping pea!


  • You start to wonder if you can die from tiredness (that’s another one for google) If I could go back in time and slap pre Ava me, I would. You don’t know real tiredness till you have a small baby to contend with. Even though Ava likes sleep (for now) being at your babies beck and call all day is bloody knackering.


  • You’re wearing jeans with holes in because you’re too stingy to buy yourself new ones yet your child has a new outfit for everyday of the week, go figure.


  • And lastly you spend all your time when they are not there talking about them or looking at pictures of them just because you love them so bloody much. If someone says something nice about my kids I have to hold back the tears, I get so overwhelmed by my love for them that I become an emotional wreck…ok I might already be one but seriously I am incredibly proud to be their mama.



Thanks for reading, hopefully some of you will relate to a few of these.

Love Amy xx

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